Lazy Bird Watcher Would Rather Just Watch Bird He’s Already Seen – The Onion

PEABODY, MA—Admitting that he just wasn’t feeling that adventurous these days, lazy bird watcher Mark Edgar told reporters Tuesday that he’d rather just watch a bird that he’s already seen. “Sure, I get that I should check out some bird I’ve never seen before, maybe one of those birds everyone is talking about like the Kirtland’s warbler, but honestly, I’d rather just chill out and watch a cardinal,” said Edgar, adding that he didn’t think he had enough energy to delve into learning about a bunch of new plumages and birdsong right now. “I’ve watched the black-capped chickadee and the dark-eyed junco probably 100 times by now, but what can I say? Those are my favorites, and watching them never gets old. So what if I can mouth along with every chirp? Honestly, I don’t care if people say that the dark-eyed junco is mediocre and I’m wasting my time by watching it over and over. And, look, I appreciate that people recommend new birds to me that they think I would like, and I know I probably would really get into the Bohemian waxwing if I ever get around to watching it, but most of the time I just want to veg out with something familiar. Sometimes you just don’t have the energy to watch one of those complicated prestige birds, you know? Sometimes a cardinal will do just fine.” Edgar also attributed his desire to just keep watching birds he’s already seen to being overwhelmed that they keep making so many new ones.